Cuckoo clockThe other night I was invited out for a night with the ‘girls.’ I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, ‘I promise!’
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times.
I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed… 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 cuckoos MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him ‘MIDNIGHT’… he didn’t seem p***d off in the least………. Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said ‘We need a new cuckoo clock.’ When I asked him why, he said, ‘Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times then said ‘oh sh*t.’ Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
From Bits And Pieces
‘Wisconsin would have to spend millions of dollars to realize a Republican scheme to restrict how poor people shop for food, state fiscal analysts revealed Wednesday’.
‘The measure would prohibit stores from accepting food stamps to pay for any form of shellfish and put a new limit on how much a food stamps recipient could spend on a long list of other foods including dry beans, spaghetti sauce, and cooking spices’.
‘The cost of micromanaging low-income people’s shopping carts might have been enough to put one Wisconsin lawmaker off the idea, but bills like Brooks’ are popular among conservatives at the state level’.
‘Maine is pursuing a “junk food ban” for SNAP. An ultra-intrusive version of the idea in Missouri appears to have stalled, but a Kansas measure barring food stamps from being used in movie theaters, pools, and cruise ships was signed into law by Gov. Sam Brownback (R) recently’.
‘Wisconsin has further plans to subject its SNAP families to hostility and suspicion’.
It was my understanding that Republicans want to cut budgets – spending so that our children won’t have huge debts.
It appears Kansas doesn’t want thenm to have an education either.
This is just total idiocy –
‘Sam Brownback might be one of the worst Republican governors in the nation — and he’s up against some stiff competition’:
“At least eight Kansas school districts are starting summer break early in response to the state’s midyear education funding cut”.
‘The move has put increased pressure on Governor Sam Brownback, whose “experiment” with reducing income tax to incite economic growth is partially responsible for the state’s projected $800m budget shortfall going into the next fiscal year, which begins on 1 July’.
‘Yesterday on “Washington Watch,” Rep. Louie Gohmert blamed President Obama for the conspiracy theories surrounding the U.S. military’s upcoming Jade Helm 15 drill’.
Gohmert said ‘the president incited anti-government sentiment because of the administration’s role in the Little Sisters of the Poor case, which involves a Catholic group that does not want to sign a waiver to become exempt from the Affordable Care Act’s contraceptive coverage mandate’.
‘Gohmert then brought up the Posse Comitatus Act, the post-Civil War law that barred federal troops from protecting the rights of African Americans in the South, which became a building block of a far-right, anti-government ideology’.
‘This led him to discuss the 1993 Waco incident using an incomprehensible impression of Bill Clinton’.(1)
‘God Helped Ben Carson Ace His College Chemistry Final By Giving Him All The Answers In A Dream’
‘As Carson explained it’…….’Carson fell asleep and had a dream in which he was alone in an auditorium as some “nebulous figure” wrote out chemistry problems on the blackboard’.
“When I went to take the test the next morning, it was like ‘The Twilight Zone,'” Carson said. “I opened that book and I recognized the first problem as one of the ones I dreamed about. And the next, and the next, and the next, and I aced the exam….“(2)
(Is this why God doesn’t answer prayers? He’s giving test answers to college students?)
—————— ‘Steve King: Legalizing Gay Marriage ‘Throws This Country Into An Endless Trauma’
‘Rep. Steve King appeared on Glenn Beck’s radio program yesterday, where he warned that a Supreme Court ruling striking down state bans on gay marriage “throws this country into an endless trauma.”
—————— ‘Rafael Cruz: Gay Marriage Part Of ‘Agenda To Destroy America’
(Rafael Cruz, Senator Ted’s Father, Long Road to Citizenship – 50 Years)
“Rafael Cruz Sr. become a citizen in 2005, fifty years after coming here as an illegal(?) in 1957 ?”
‘The day after the Supreme Court heard the Obergefell marriage cases, Rafael Cruz spoke to a Republican group in Alvin, Texas, where he made frequent warnings about the supposed threat of legalizing same-sex marriage’.
“I lost my freedom once, I’m not willing to lose it again. I will die fighting before I lose it again and so should you,”he added’. (4)